Elisa started crowning and the pain was unreal. I had oame face to face with the greatest fear I have ever experienced, the feeling that I couldn’t do it, that it wasn’t in me to push through one more contraction, to get this baby girl out. I remember crying and saying to Heinrich, “Ek kan nie, ek kan nie.”

Together with the midwives, Heinrich started speaking truth and courage over me. I remember calling out “Jesus!” at one of the very last contractions before Elisa made her appearance and then feeling an incredible sense of relief and victory the moment she popped out, hearing her behind me.

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I am super excited to give you a little glimpse into a world that I love so much it sometimes hurt. It’s a world that are still a little bit foreign to some people, but I truly hope that with this different angle, the critics will be able to soak up the inspiring and wonderful thing that is Birth Photography.

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Why was I so desperate to have a natural birth?
Yes, it would have been a most empowering experience for me and yes my next one will be a VBAC, but was it really that important in the bigger scheme of things? At the end of it all we got what we set out to achieve – a human being that we could guide and mould and set free into the world for her to make her own impact. Maybe that trauma she and I both endured in getting her Earthside happened exactly how it was supposed to. That’s birth and even more so parenting – you set off on a course with big plans and that’s great, but there has to be flexibility and acceptance in changing course depending on whatever life (or your kid) throws at you.

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After a minute or so we heard your first loud cry. It was glorious and we could finally breathe. Sr Lotter brought you to us and our hearts melted, my boy. You were beautiful. We checked for 10 fingers and 10 toes and we couldn’t stop looking at you. The happiest moment of our lives. You were born at 11:33 weighing 3.49kg and measuring 53cm.

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“I have been delaying writing my birth story. It has taken me a while to process the events from that day, and the days and few weeks following, and to be okay with not writing a ‘perfect’ story with perfect English. I truly hope that being real about the latter, and that which follows, will make at least one other mom out there, facing a similar experience, feel less alone in having had a ‘good but not perfect’ birth

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I have had the privilege to work with many wonderful doulas and I would like to say thank you! Thank you not only for your servant heart but also for what you are doing for woman. In a place of vulnerability you aid us in being strong, in a place of insecurities you reassure, in a place of fear you speak hope!

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